Advanced Pew Sitting

     Nothing says, “you’re in church” like a pew. Amphitheaters, auditoriums, lecture halls – no other  building has utilized this simple, extended wooden bench to the degree that the Christian church has. As a matter of fact, you could argue that the pew is the most prevailing symbol of cross-denominational Christian unity….well…maybe not. Still, if you’re a church-going Christian odds are you’ve planted your bum in one at some point in your life.

Across many Sundays and through much trial and error, I’ve adopted certain guidelines that have helped me become a more effective pew-sitter. I will now impart this vital information to you…

#1: If you find a pew that is mostly empty, claim the open spot nearest the center rather than clinging to the aisle.

Don’t be the family that people constantly have to slide in front of in order to claim the prime real estate to your right or left. It’s uncomfortable for both you and them.

#2: Leave at least one body width between you and the person to your right and left, if possible.

You know how you try to provide one seat worth of buffer space between you and any stranger at the movie theater? …same principle. I contend that one body width is just the right amount of space to be polite – giving others ample comfort room while still being close enough to allow any necessary/desired hand-holding (as during the ‘Our Father’ for Catholics).

#3: If the congregation leaves their pews during the service (for Communion, a special blessing/prayer, etc.) put a hymnal down to help you find your seat again.

I use this technique almost every Sunday. You have to make sure however, that said hymnal is visible from the aisle. This can be tricky if you’re sitting in a pew that is not straight. For example, when sitting in a V-shaped pew the aisle next to the V pew section you’re sitting in may be the only vantage point you can see your hymnal from.

Stick to these tips, and you’ll be a pew sitting like a pro in no time!